Lent

Every year for Lent I give up something challenging. I usually choose some kind of food. I gave up sweets or junk food several years in a row. This year I finally realized there is something I love to eat much more than doughnuts and Doritos. It's meat.

What could possibly present a bigger challenge to me? I am a carnivore. I would eat bacon at every meal if I could. My vegetarian friends are used to me mocking their way of life. "I love animals...they're tasty" etc.

So that's what I've been doing since Ash Wednesday; going meatless. No meat and no fish for me until Easter. The night before (at our Mardi Gras party) I loaded up on my roomie's homemade jambalaya. The night before that, my midnight snack was three kinds of preserved fish: sardines, smoked salmon and anchovies.

I was right when I thought this would be my biggest Lent challenge yet. I'm taunted in restaurants by clam chowder, pasta salad with tuna in it and my friend Susan sitting across the table from me with crisp bacon hanging out of her mouth. My pantry and freezer dangle chicken noodle soup, taquitos and even canned ravioli in front of my vegetarian lips.

My aunt, who has spent several years off and on living meatlessly, told me it gets easier. I don't think she understands my pathological reliance on dead animal products. There are plenty of days in my regular life where I don't eat meat, but they are interspersed with days where I eat 2 or 3 burgers or a plate of homemade tacos. To go for 40 days without any of my favorite foods may be crippling to my sanity.

"Smells good," Roomie told me as I cooked some fake burgers the other night. "Thanks," I said, and told her what it was she was smelling. "They are good," I said. "They taste nothing like burgers, but they're good." And that's the thing, I love veggies too, but they will never replace meat for me. I could eat my weight in asparagus, Brussels sprouts and lima beans, but if there's not a seafood omelet or a ham biscuit in my foreseeable future, I may start eyeing the ferrets in a new way.